Dear Sis:
What shall I do? The sexmobile in the middle is my own F150 pickup. a lightweight at 5,000 lbs. On the right is a small truck, the Chevy Something-or-other. On the left is an F350, just right at 7,000 lbs. Economical 7.3 L diesel. Shall I keep my little blue baby or move it on up?
Dazed and confused in Tennessee.
•••
Date: February 6, 2010 2:48:22 AM CST
Dear Dazed and Confused in Tennessee:
I would suggest you keep your own truck, unless you want the local ambulance officers to get jealous. I can’t read the big guy’s licence plate, but I am betting it is a personalised one and somewhat self-congratulatory.
I am so glad I do not have to park it.
Fondly,
yr sis
Perth, W. Australia
•••
Date: February 6, 2010 7:29:37 AM CST
Dear Sis:
Thanks I will follow your advice. Even my small ute (actually more of a yodeladyhoo) needs some advance consideration to stop by the time you hit the red light. That oil tanker next to me needs an act of Congress reversing the earth’s rotation.
Other than that things are swimming here in middle Tennessee, but the rain will stop soon enough. In DC the snow depth overnight exceeds thirty inches. Most since 1772. Both Washington and Jefferson remarked on that blizzard in their journals. Obama has remained mute. Perhaps his TelePrompTer is frozen.
Love, the kenverine
Sent from my iPhone
Seen below: the Australian “ute” (runs on Vegemite), and beside that one from Texas.
FDA WARNING:
AMERICANS – DO NOT EAT VEGEMITE!!!!
Vegemite can only be digested in the inverse position. Thus Australians can tolerate it but unless you feel comfortable standing on your head throughout the entire 8 hour digestive cycle avoid Vegemite at all costs. The results are too terrible to mention here.
Dear Dazed and Confused in Tennessee:
Here’s my humble opinion on this whole thing. Unless you live on a ranch or a farm, you don’t need a 1-ton dually unless you simply plan on dragging, oh I don’t know, you’re house to and from work with you every day. Don’t fall in to the auto:penis trap either or I will have to report you. My theory is that the smaller your penis, the larger and/or faster your car/truck has to be, so being true to that thinking, your truck is probably just right. I say probably because I have no first hand knowledge of the impending appendage. Oh, and by the way, I drive a Yugo! Bing, bang, boom!
Hey Jason: My Rolex Sea Dweller face is a whopping 53 millimeters compared to the 47 of my Breitling Navitimer Cosmonaute,
Only Flavor Flave is bigger, but you know what they say about those people.
How big is yours?
Yer pal, Ferrari Bubba
I feel so inadequate, my 42mm Tag Heuer Formula One doesn’t even begin to……wait…..wait a minute…..I’m having a thought; somehow this all seems to be related; yes, in fact, now I remember reading somewhere that world-famous (or at least in my mind) porn star John Holmes used to wear a $9.95 Mickey Mouse Timex watch and that boy got pud every time the second hand crossed little Mickeys crotch! Huh, maybe with a little more research, I might just prove this little theory of mine. Saints 79 – Colts 78!
I have a Timex but I’m too shy to be in the movies.
Too bad about Manning’s emergency appendectomy…
I don’t wear a watch, I use my appendage as a Sundial. Badda-bing.